The Limiting Belief I Sat with for a Long Time

There’s a belief I carried for a long time quietly and almost unconsciously.

“If I grow, if I change… the people around me might not like me anymore.”

It was rooted in something tender which is my deep desire to be loved, accepted, and emotionally safe with others. As an Enneagram 2, that’s the undercurrent of so much in my life. I don’t just care about people, I care about them. I want to show up, help, support, make them feel seen. But for a while, I thought being loved meant staying the same. Staying who I had always been… even when that version of me was exhausted.

For a long time, I avoided change because I was afraid of what it might cost me in connection.

What if people didn’t understand this new version of me?

What if I didn’t feel needed anymore?

What if they thought I was “too much” or “not enough”?

But something beautiful happened when I stopped trying to be who I had always been and started becoming who I was actually meant to be.

As I’ve evolved in so many ways, I’ve met the most incredible people. People who feel like home. Who celebrate my growth. Who want more WITH me, not from me.

And surprisingly? Some of those people were already in my life… from years ago.

There’s something wild about reconnecting with someone you once knew only to realize that time, life, and growth have reshaped both of you into people who finally get each other. Sometimes bringing someone back into your life from the past is like meeting a brand new friend with shared history, but brand new energy.

And if you’re wondering about those people who don’t “click” anymore? That’s okay too. If someone hasn’t grown, hasn’t softened, hasn’t become more self-aware or kind or open, it’s okay to let that connection fade.

Here are the lessons I’ve learned about letting go:

• You’re allowed to change without explanation.

• Growth is a filter and not everyone will pass through it with you.

• Your energy deserves to be matched, not drained.

• Who you’re becoming is more important than who they expected you to be.

I’ve always been an Enneagram 2. I’ll always have a tender heart, a desire to care, a longing to feel needed. But now? That care starts at home with me. I’m becoming the healthiest, most honest version of this type I’ve ever been. I no longer have to prove my worth through overgiving. I can love without losing myself. And I can change without fearing I’ll be left behind.

Because the right people? They don’t just stick around, they evolve with you.